How This Pandemic Proved That She’s The One
How This Pandemic Proved That She’s The One
Last May, we met in the unlikeliest place for both of us, a dating app. Thanks, Bumble!
I had promised her coffee and a walk for our first date. A coffee and a walk meant it would be an hour, hour and a half max, and just in case the date went poorly, it could be ended fast enough for both of us. It was a pessimist (or a realistic) approach to what turned out to be the best date of my life.
Also, I had just been told by my employer (a day before my life-changing date) that my position at work was eliminated, and I would be unemployed in a month.
It was a beautiful 75-degree day. I tried to focus on having fun on this date rather than worry about being unemployed. Those worries dissipated quickly when I saw her. She was way cuter than her pictures! We ended up walking the gorgeous lakefront in Chicago, starting around 5:30 pm on a Friday. Time flew by, and I really wanted more time with her. So, I asked her to dinner a couple of hours into our date. To my delight, she said yes. We wrapped up our dinner in Chinatown, and I didn’t want the date to end, so I asked her to dessert, and again, to my delight, she said yes.
After dessert, I knew it was time to wrap up, so I asked her if I could drop her off. I dropped her off, and we hugged goodbye. I got back into the car, and couldn’t stop smiling. This date wasn’t a “sparks flew” type of date, but a silent, calm, almost comforting, that “I can’t believe how effortless this was” type of date. We simply got along really well.
Over the next few months, we began dating exclusively and didn’t look back. Note that she lives in Madison, and I am in Chicago. We met on her last day in Chicago before she was moving to Madison. (“Meant to be?”) Therefore, this was a “long-distance” relationship. When I would tell my married friends how easy and loving our relationship was, they would say, “well yeah, because you only see her on the weekends. You haven’t lived with her yet, to see the day to day.”
Fast forward to March 2020, coronavirus hits, and we’ve all been given social distancing and work from home guidelines. Therefore, I invite her to stay with me.
The first few weeks go by flawlessly. We were having so much fun together! Then, we got into our first argument. And this is the beginning of how I am sure that she’s the one.
We Fight Well
I made my point, and she made hers. We didn’t raise our voices. We were silent and left each other alone. After some reflection, I went back and apologized. We resumed and were back to normal. There were a few other things we didn’t see eye to eye on, yet we respectfully talked through them and resolved them.
We are on the same page about our future
With a lot of time inside the house, we talked about how we see the next 5, 10, 20, and 50 years playing out. We even asked each other all the questions that can make you fall in love with someone. We discussed our love languages, our likes, dislikes, and our past. Our biggest regret has been that we didn’t meet sooner. We are both in our mid-30s.
We found our household roles
When she’s busy working, I’ll cook, and she will clean later. When I’m busy working, and she’s free, she cooks, and I clean. She does the laundry, and I vacuum. We each have our household tasks and didn’t need to talk about them. We just assume responsibility for an upcoming task based on our availability.
She’s extremely loving
Her brother has joined us for our quarantine over the last few weeks. Seeing how lovingly she interacts with him melts my heart. Her parents and two younger sisters live abroad, and she’s always so excited to talk to them every day and makes sure that everyone is well. Also, I’m really bad at keeping in touch with my mom, who lives abroad. In general, I am really bad at keeping in touch with friends, or family. However, every weekend she reminds me to call my mom. She will also text with her throughout the week. Seeing her dedication to our families has proven to me that family means more to her than anything in this world. And I absolutely love that! I’ve always wanted someone who would be dedicated to family, and I’ve found it.
We’ve seen each other’s worst
During my unemployment, I was miserable. My self-worth was at an all-time low. She was there for me. We’ve both been sick during the quarantine and fought through it. We nursed each other back to health. We’ve had bad days at work, and supported each other through them. Sure, these aren’t the last bad days in life, but I’ve seen enough to know we can be there for each other in the most loving and caring way.
We still talk like we are apart all-day
Every night we get into bed and ask each other, “How was your day?”. Every morning we ask each other, “How’s your day looking today?” We haven’t run out of things to talk about.
We’ve learned to compromise on TV time
I love sci-fi, and she’s all about romance. We’ve learned to compromise. We watch romantic movies/shows during the evening and sci-fi at night. The sci-fi puts her straight to sleep and then begins her snoring.
Note that you don’t need a is she the one for you quiz. You really just need to know is she the one for you. To know that, you will have to spend time with her and see feel “something.” Everyone always says that “when you know, you know” and it definitely holds true.
Random thought: I wonder for how many people it went the other way? Where the pandemic proved that the person is NOT the one? Would love your thoughts!
Written By
"There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs." Staying Uncomfortable is the result of my mind trying to make sense of life, people, and the world around me. The fickle nature of life has made me realize the importance of being in the present moment, and that life is all about enjoying these little moments. As I embark upon this journey of spirituality and a growth mindset, I invite you along with us, to share your perspectives, and to challenge ours. Lots of love, and gratitude for being here with us.